The "Who do you love more?" Game

I have never liked that game - Who do you love more: Me or Daddy? Sean or Ben? It is a close relative to another one of my not-so-favorite questions, Who would you save from a boat if you could only choose one? Logan has reached that age where he likes to pose these uncomfortable questions knowing it makes us squirm.

Tonight, I had the rare occasion to snuggle with both Logan and Ben. Logan knows that Ben has a lot of love for him. If Logan is in the room, everyone else is chopped liver. Ben stares at Logan, "talks" to him, tries to climb next to him - he is clearly the favorite based on this behavior. And Logan is very proud of the fact that he is the favorite.

During this somewhat quiet time on the sofa, Logan decided to take some photos of Ben. Then he asked Ben who he loved more: Mommy or Me? Ben could not climb over me fast enough to lay on top of Logan. Ben stayed there for quite awhile too, just snuggling on Logan. Logan re-asked the question several times, and the crystal clear non-verbal answer was always the same: Logan.

Oh well - I know where I stand in this family. Although I must mention, just in case you are feeling sorry for me, Logan asked Sean this same question the other day and I was the winner! Thank goodness for two year-olds - forever faithful to their mom.

* Dates on photos are totally inaccurate.

Comments

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

"Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence How I Make Being a Mom and Volunteer Work at this Group Home

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: From Group Home Placement to Discharge

Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom. A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client. Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months. We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....

How I Make Being a Mom and Volunteer Work at this Group Home

In September, Ben celebrated three years living in a group home in Charlotte, North Carolina, with five other men. Ben lives 20 minutes from our house, and we see him several times a week for doctor's appointments, to drop off supplies, for group home events and sometimes because I just miss him. Ben occassionally sleeps over, and he often spends a weekend day hanging out on his favorite couch, watching videos at our house. This Easterseals PORT Health home is Ben's second placement. The first placement through another agency didn't work out, and he left after six months . We were wary of trying a new place, but it's worked out well. My husband, Ryan, and I have developed a partnership with ESPH. Over time, we've built mutual respect and trust with the residents and staff. Here's what's worked for us: 1. Get involved with the group home. Ben lives with five other men in a six-bedroom house in Charlotte. On move-in day, Steven, one of the residents, made ...

eSpecially Ben

Search This Blog