eSpecially Ben

When Ben moved into his group home more than four years ago, a friend suggested we plan a tailgate party for the residents. Since then, we've hosted therapy dogs, yoga, live music, gardening days, crafting events, trivia games, bingo and much more.  Friends, neighbors and family members serve as the volunteers. Staff jump in to help. The residents go along with most of the activities we plan. Their favorites are definitely music trivia and bingo. And we must bring snacks; they never ask but I wouldn't show up empty handed. Unintended Results of Volunteering  1. Opens communication between our family and the staff at the group home. 2. Introduces others who volunteer to group home living. They develop friendships with Ben and the other residents. 3. Forms partnerships with local schools and businesses. The Beta Club at the local Montessori high school volunteers each year. Several businesses and foundations continue to donate every year. 4. Connects us to Ben in another way. If...

  Ben is thriving in his group home in Charlotte. I wrote about what he's been up to in this story in Southpark Magazine:  Givers: All together Happy Holidays! Photo Credit Grant Baldwin Photography "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence How I Make Being a Mom and Volunteer Work at this Group Home

On Saturday, Kidz That Care , a nonprofit organization in Charlotte, visited Ben's Easterseals UCP group home to "Pack the Pantry" with groceries and beautify the front porch with flowers. Ben joined the group outside and watched them plant poinsettias, sweep leaves and wipe down tables.  I wasn't sure how engaged Ben was in the activity but when I tried to take him for a walk, he made it clear he wanted to stay and observe. He hugged the one adult with the group (not the photo above).  When the group was leaving, Kidz That Care asked to take a photo with Ben. I noticed how Liam, one of the teen volunteers, kneeled next to Ben rather than stand behind him. Usually people not comfortable around Ben are hesitant to get close. I was impressed with Liam's willingness to bend down and be at his level. Then Ben leaned in for a hug and held on to Liam for several minutes. Ben's hands were tight around Liam's neck and he kept his head on Liam's shoulder. It w...

  WSOC-TV's reporter Elsa Gillis contacted me this summer about featuring the activities we've been planning at Ben's Easterseals UCP group home in Charlotte in the new series Carolina Strong. She'd heard about the events from a local public relations professional who follows me on Facebook.  Here's the clip:  Carolina Strong: Local mother spreads joy at home for people with disabilities The feature on WSOC has brought much-needed attention to group home living: A local school is providing a front porch makeover in the coming months. A grant is supplying the materials for our activities and other neighbors and friends have reached out about volunteering at events.  Photo: WSOC-TV visited Ben's Easterseals group home on Oct. 10, 2023.

  An art project we did at Ben's group home this summer. Ben moved into an Easterseals group home on September 12, 2022. Today, we celebrate one year with him not just living there, but thriving. Ben's formed friendships with his housemates and the staff who work there.  The move to this Easterseals group home was his second time moving out of our house. In 2021, Ben moved to Greensboro, 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte, North Carolina. He'd been living in an AFL - alternative family living - situation through a different agency. It didn't work out. For more details, read  here . The day program has a living room for activities and relaxing. Ben moved home for six months while we searched for another living situation for him. During this time, we found an incredible day program. I happened to see a post on Facebook with photos of happy individuals involved in all sorts of community activities. I connected with the staff, and Ben started in June 2022.  Swimming a...

  Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom.  A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client.  Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months.  We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....

  If you've landed on this page, you're deep into research about group home placement. By this point, you've found a few agencies with group homes and you want to take the next step and send in an application and referral packet. I can tell you what I did with our son, Ben. It may be different for your family, based on your comfort level with sharing information with others. Most agencies will have an application to complete. Some will ask a lot of questions and some won't. No two are alike – I've completed more than 10. I wish they had a Common App for group homes.  Always include the contact information for your child's care or case manager. I sent a copy of the most recent document with every application: Budget for services, if your child has one  IEP - Individual Education Plan  ISP - Individual Service Plan  Legal Guardianship document  Medicaid Card  Medication list Photo of Ben - I use every opportunity to make the process about a person and no...

  When our son, Ben, turned 14, I started researching group homes in North Carolina. I visited one large facility and one six-bed group home. I felt overwhelmed, sad and scared after those two visits. The experience made me aware of how difficult the process would be, both emotionally and mentally. Although your child may have a case manager to help locate agencies with group homes and alternative family living placements, most of the process is up to the family. Once you narrow down a placement, here are questions you might want to have answered: Staff How are staff vetted for employment? What experience does the agency have running group homes? How many staff are on duty throughout the day?  How does the agency recruit and retain staff? Is someone awake during the night in case my child needs assistance? Home Who are they looking for to fill the space within the group home? Co-ed or single gender? What's the layout of the house?  How many bathrooms?  Does each pers...