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About Us

Sean, 2; Michael, 5, and Ben, 7

2009

This blog is about our journey through the world of a child with special needs. By sharing our experiences we hope to help other families who may be in the same situation. Ben is a sweet energetic redhead with two younger brothers, Michael and Sean. My husband, Ryan, and I try to keep up with them. These stories are intended to shed insight into our lives and also pass on the wisdom we have earned over the past several years.

When I started to write at eSpecially Ben, my intention was to help other families who may be experiencing similar situations while raising a child with special needs. To my surprise, the site has grown to a place where I learn along with my readers as new issues develop. While relying on my inspiration, our son Ben, I take one day at a time. eSpecially Ben tries to show all the sides of parenting a child with special needs - some posts make readers cry, laugh and on a really good day, think.


Ryan and Vanessa married in 1998.

Ryan and I met at college - he was a freshman and I was a senior. We eventually started dating and married several years later. My educational background is in working with college students. Before children, I coordinated leadership and personal development activities in the Student Life Office at the local university. I continued working part-time when Ben was born, but it was too difficult because evening and weekend hours were required when working with the college population, so I eventually quit altogether.

Writing has proven to be a great way for me to share my feelings and express my emotions. And in the process, I have made amazing connections with so many other families. I hope to continue writing and perhaps pursue other subjects, even fiction, in the future.

2022 Update


Our boys are teenagers now: Ben is almost 19; Michael is 17 and Sean is 14. Since 2012, I've been writing professionally for regional and national outlets about art, business, parenting and travel. Read my stories here: Vanessa Infanzon

We are always learning and as Ben transitions to adulthood, the stakes seem higher. I've started a new series, "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities." The first post is here: Talking about the future.

Happy reading!

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Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

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He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

After my post, Brotherly Love , I received an email from a reader who reminded me of this song. I knew the song, but had never really thought about the words and the meaning behind them. I looked it up and thought others might see the lyrics in a new light.   He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother The road is long With many a winding turn That leads us to who knows where Who knows when But I'm strong Strong enough to carry him He ain't heavy, he's my brother. So on we go His welfare is of my concern No burden is he to bear We'll get there For I know He would not encumber me If I'm laden at all I'm laden with sadness That everyone's heart Isn't filled with the gladness Of love for one another. It's a long, long road From which there is no return While we're on the way to there Why not share And the load Doesn't weigh me down at all He ain't heavy, he's my brother. He's my brother He ain't h
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Kids Who Volunteer

On Saturday, Kidz That Care , a nonprofit organization in Charlotte, visited Ben's Easterseals UCP group home to "Pack the Pantry" with groceries and beautify the front porch with flowers. Ben joined the group outside and watched them plant poinsettias, sweep leaves and wipe down tables.  I wasn't sure how engaged Ben was in the activity but when I tried to take him for a walk, he made it clear he wanted to stay and observe. He hugged the one adult with the group (not the photo above).  When the group was leaving, Kidz That Care asked to take a photo with Ben. I noticed how Liam, one of the teen volunteers, kneeled next to Ben rather than stand behind him. Usually people not comfortable around Ben are hesitant to get close. I was impressed with Liam's willingness to bend down and be at his level. Then Ben leaned in for a hug and held on to Liam for several minutes. Ben's hands were tight around Liam's neck and he kept his head on Liam's shoulder. It w
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