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About Us

Sean, 2; Michael, 5, and Ben, 7

2009

This blog is about our journey through the world of a child with special needs. By sharing our experiences we hope to help other families who may be in the same situation. Ben is a sweet energetic redhead with two younger brothers, Michael and Sean. My husband, Ryan, and I try to keep up with them. These stories are intended to shed insight into our lives and also pass on the wisdom we have earned over the past several years.

When I started to write at eSpecially Ben, my intention was to help other families who may be experiencing similar situations while raising a child with special needs. To my surprise, the site has grown to a place where I learn along with my readers as new issues develop. While relying on my inspiration, our son Ben, I take one day at a time. eSpecially Ben tries to show all the sides of parenting a child with special needs - some posts make readers cry, laugh and on a really good day, think.


Ryan and Vanessa married in 1998.

Ryan and I met at college - he was a freshman and I was a senior. We eventually started dating and married several years later. My educational background is in working with college students. Before children, I coordinated leadership and personal development activities in the Student Life Office at the local university. I continued working part-time when Ben was born, but it was too difficult because evening and weekend hours were required when working with the college population, so I eventually quit altogether.

Writing has proven to be a great way for me to share my feelings and express my emotions. And in the process, I have made amazing connections with so many other families. I hope to continue writing and perhaps pursue other subjects, even fiction, in the future.

2022 Update


Our boys are teenagers now: Ben is almost 19; Michael is 17 and Sean is 14. Since 2012, I've been writing professionally for regional and national outlets about art, business, parenting and travel. Read my stories here: Vanessa Infanzon

We are always learning and as Ben transitions to adulthood, the stakes seem higher. I've started a new series, "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities." The first post is here: Talking about the future.

Happy reading!

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Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: Talking About the Future

Ben in the middle with Dad (left), Carla Payne with Aging Care Matters and Mom This is the first of several posts about parenting an adult child with a disability. Ben will be 19 this summer; I am learning along the way. As always, I hope to pass on resources and wisdom. Discuss the future.  If your adult child is able to participate in planning for their future, ask them how they envision it. Let them draw a picture. Ask them to tell you a story. Maybe they can sign a few words that mean a lot to them. Find a way to get them involved. How do they see themselves living? By themselves, in a group home, with another family or with a sibling? Where do they want to live? In another city, in an apartment, in a house? How far away do they want to live from family? What level of independence can they handle? Do they want someone to check in on them? Do they want to find a job? Do they need a job coach or supportive employment? Who will help them with their finances? Is there someone they tru