Skip to main content

R Word


On Veteran's Day, the boys had the day off so we went to the park. There were only a few other kids there with us. While running and climbing on the playground equipment, the other kids got into a name calling contest that involved only one word - "Retard."

I do remember using that word as a kid - I flung it around with words like stupid, idiot, dummy. By the time I was in college, I had more sophisticated shorter words to use, so the "R word" left my vocabulary.

At the park, I thought for a second about saying something to these kids. But what would I say? They saw me with Ben and I don't think they were connecting the use of their word with him. It was something they heard somewhere and were trying it out on each other. I chose not to say anything, but it did awake in me the need for more information about the debate going on about the words, Retard and Retarded.


Although I am aware of the  R-Word campaign, I was unsure of its focus. Is it about the use of the words as a slang derogatory insult? Or is it the use of the words as a label or diagnosis?

After looking over the site, it seems that the goal is to end using words like retard and retarded as a way to insult someone or something. The site's supporters are passionate about what they are trying to do. If they are able to raise awareness about mental retardation and get people to stop using the words in a derogatory way, then I support them.

The first time Logan and Sean use those words, because I know they will, I will talk to them about the meaning of the word and how people use it in a mean way. But I will have to do that for a lot of words, because unfortunately, there are so many ways to be mean to someone.

Comments

  1. Our kids will be the biggest advocates of this word, too. My oldest daughter gets very upset when she hears this word, which is a lot in Jr. High and High School. She tries to correct people and gets very upset when she hears it. I tell her she can't fight every battle and stop every person from saying it. Focus on her friends, and if they refuse to stop saying it or say it in spite of her, then move on. This is not a battle we will win over night. We may not be able to prevent everyone from saying this word, but we can choose to limit how it is used in our presence.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. If you wish to contact me directly, please let me know and I will email you.

Popular posts from this blog

Impromptu Pet Therapy

  Ben met Doodle today. One of the staff at his day program brought him in. Ben loves dogs and these photos made my day. 

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: Talking About the Future

Ben in the middle with Dad (left), Carla Payne with Aging Care Matters and Mom This is the first of several posts about parenting an adult child with a disability. Ben will be 19 this summer; I am learning along the way. As always, I hope to pass on resources and wisdom. Discuss the future.  If your adult child is able to participate in planning for their future, ask them how they envision it. Let them draw a picture. Ask them to tell you a story. Maybe they can sign a few words that mean a lot to them. Find a way to get them involved. How do they see themselves living? By themselves, in a group home, with another family or with a sibling? Where do they want to live? In another city, in an apartment, in a house? How far away do they want to live from family? What level of independence can they handle? Do they want someone to check in on them? Do they want to find a job? Do they need a job coach or supportive employment? Who will help them with their finances? Is there someone they tru