Skip to main content

You Should See the Other Guy

On Palm Sunday, we arrived at church at our usual time to participate in Sunday School. I took Ben's walker out from the trunk. Ryan and I strapped Ben in with chest harness and seat. Ben made his way toward the door as his brothers ran around the garden amused by the bird bath with the stone bunny inside.

I opened the door to the church for Ben. Without warning, Ben's walker folded onto itself, slamming Ben's face to the floor. Ben's nose took the brunt of the fall. He bled and cried. Then I cried. Our church community got ice, gave hugs and helped any way they could. Ben only wanted his Dad to hold him.

Of course, things like this happen so quickly and when they do, the details are all in a haze. I do remember wondering, what just happened? How could the walker do that? And probably even quicker than the fall, the answer came to me: I did not engage the lock for the walker properly.

Some people have told me not to feel bad or guilty, but I did. Ben's nose blew up to at least twice its size. He was dazed and upset for a long while, enough that Ryan took him home instead of staying at church. Four days later, Ben had two black eyes, an almost improvement from the dark pink "eye shadow" he sported two days before that.

This blog is about full disclosure - paying wisdom forward is in our masthead, after all - that is why I share this story, because Lord knows I wanted to sweep it under the rug. There are three things I learned:

1. Even though I was not in a rush to get the walker setup, I still overlooked an important part of setup. Double check and then check again.

2. Feeling guilty is okay...for awhile. Denying your feelings is counter productive. Moving on is part of healing. I made a mistake as all parents do. I forgave myself. And Ben has been snuggling up to me so I think he did too.

3. Humor is a good healer. At the doctor's office on Monday, Ben's bridge of the nose was wider than the tip, resembling an Avatar. Perhaps the doctor did not appreciate our humor, but it had us all laughing, releasing the tension. And knowing Ben's nose was not broken and would heal just fine was a relief.


And really, "You should see the other guy" is still a good line.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

After my post, Brotherly Love , I received an email from a reader who reminded me of this song. I knew the song, but had never really thought about the words and the meaning behind them. I looked it up and thought others might see the lyrics in a new light.   He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother The road is long With many a winding turn That leads us to who knows where Who knows when But I'm strong Strong enough to carry him He ain't heavy, he's my brother. So on we go His welfare is of my concern No burden is he to bear We'll get there For I know He would not encumber me If I'm laden at all I'm laden with sadness That everyone's heart Isn't filled with the gladness Of love for one another. It's a long, long road From which there is no return While we're on the way to there Why not share And the load Doesn't weigh me down at all He ain't heavy, he's my brother. He's my brother He ain't h

ABC's of ABA

A few weeks ago I attended a workshop presented by a behavior therapist. As it turned out, I went to a conference on the same topic over a year ago. I will describe what I have taken away from these methods in my own words - but please take a look at the links I have provided below. After I learned about this, life with children made a lot more sense to me. Not that this is earth shattering material, but it helped me to better understand the hows, whats and whys of behavior in children, and occasionally husbands. I am in no way an expert in this - just a parent who wants to share a behavior strategy that has worked in our home. I hope to inspire others to explore it further.  Any errors in information comes from me and cannot be blamed on the presenters. Also, you may have seen ABA - Applied Behavior Analysis - connected most often with Autism - please do not let this deter you if your child is not autistic. I use these methods with all my children, none of which are labeled au