Skip to main content

Stumbling Upon Lessons

Ben, Logan and I saw How to Train Your Dragon on Saturday. I went in with little to no expectations. After seeing it, this movie will go on my list of all-time favorites. The music, scenery and characters were superb. The story was a beautiful one. It had two simple messages:
  • Believe in your child.

  • If you've had the same solution for a problem and it has not worked, try something completely different.
I will keep these two lessons close to me as I go through life. They are easy to understand, easy to facilitate and easy to forget in times of stress, lack of sleep and pressure.


And if while reading this, you pictured us sitting three in a row, sharing popcorn and pop, watching the movie in silence...it was not quite like that. Ben complained loudly and grabbed at me non-stop in the beginning. After a few seat changes (on my lap, off my lap, next to me, out of his chair, in his chair, laying down, 10th row up, 4th row up) and a sad thought that we may have to leave the theater, I moved Ben about 15 feet away from me, at a diagonal. I could see him out of the corner of my eye. Knowing he could not bug me, Ben decided to watch the movie. I tried not to feel guilty and wonder what other people thought of my decision to seat my disabled child so far away from me.

If I re-frame our movie-going experience and apply the lessons learned from the movie, then it seems I took a creative approach to a common problem we encounter at the movies with Ben. I believed Ben could enjoy the movie so I tried a new way to solve the problem - and it worked! In the end, we all had a great time. Whew - I feel good about that one now :)

Comments

  1. I never would have thought about sitting him away from you, but good job finding a solution so that everyone had a good time!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. If you wish to contact me directly, please let me know and I will email you.

Popular posts from this blog

Impromptu Pet Therapy

  Ben met Doodle today. One of the staff at his day program brought him in. Ben loves dogs and these photos made my day. 

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: Talking About the Future

Ben in the middle with Dad (left), Carla Payne with Aging Care Matters and Mom This is the first of several posts about parenting an adult child with a disability. Ben will be 19 this summer; I am learning along the way. As always, I hope to pass on resources and wisdom. Discuss the future.  If your adult child is able to participate in planning for their future, ask them how they envision it. Let them draw a picture. Ask them to tell you a story. Maybe they can sign a few words that mean a lot to them. Find a way to get them involved. How do they see themselves living? By themselves, in a group home, with another family or with a sibling? Where do they want to live? In another city, in an apartment, in a house? How far away do they want to live from family? What level of independence can they handle? Do they want someone to check in on them? Do they want to find a job? Do they need a job coach or supportive employment? Who will help them with their finances? Is there someone they tru

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence