Skip to main content

Angels on Earth

I had a working lunch meeting today at one of my old haunts near the university. I arrived early and immediately realized that the only other people in the cafe were a group of adults with special needs. I said hello, grabbed a menu and quietly watched the group and its staff from my seat by the window.

Not many minutes later, the group started to leave and one of the two staff members yelled to a group member who was walking out the door, "Don't you want to get a magazine? Take whichever ones you like." Then he pulled another member of the group toward him, gave him a hug and said the same thing about the magazines to him. His voice was loving and gentle, and I was overwhelmed with some emotion I cannot begin to name - happiness, gratitude, relief? While I had been observing this group, I had been judging too. I thought I would "catch" the staff say a mean word or act inappropriately with their special group.

Just before this staff member closed the door to leave, I knew I had to say something to him. It would be a missed and regretted moment. "I have a special needs child and I worry for my son when he gets older. You were so kind just now." I started to cry and my words ran together, but he understood what I was trying to say to him.  This stranger hugged me and said, "With people like us around, you don't have to."

There are angels that walk among us. You just have to open your eyes a little wider to see their wings.

Comments

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. If you wish to contact me directly, please let me know and I will email you.

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence How I Make Being a Mom and Volunteer Work at this Group Home
1 comment
Read more

How I Make Being a Mom and Volunteer Work at this Group Home

  In September, Ben celebrated three years living in a group home in Charlotte, North Carolina, with five other men. Ben lives 20 minutes from our house, and we see him several times a week for doctor's appointments, to drop off supplies, for group home events and sometimes because I just miss him. Ben occassionally sleeps over, and he often spends a weekend day hanging out on his favorite couch, watching videos at our house. This Easterseals PORT Health home is Ben's second placement. The first placement through another agency didn't work out, and he left after six months . We were wary of trying a new place, but it's worked out well. My husband, Ryan, and I have developed a partnership with ESPH. Over time, we've built mutual respect and trust with the residents and staff.  Here's what's worked for us: 1. Get involved with the group home. Ben lives with five other men in a six-bedroom house in Charlotte. On move-in day, Steven, one of the residents, made ...
4 comments
Read more

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: From Group Home Placement to Discharge

  Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom.  A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client.  Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months.  We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....
3 comments
Read more