Skip to main content

eSpecially Parents June Edition: Meg's Story


Once upon a time there was an American girl who fell in love with an English boy, moved to England and got married.

The couple enjoyed every minute they spent together, as the English boy worked long hours. The American girl taught herself to cook and spent most of each day researching new recipes and shopping for ingredients to make a wonderful meal for her husband to come home to.

On weekends the couple slept in, woke leisurely and headed off to the movies or a long drive through the countryside, or shopping in the city. The couple was blissfully happy together but knew something was missing. They desperately wanted to have children.

After a year of trying, the couple was doubly blessed with news that they were expecting twins! Yes, I am that American girl and my husband is that English boy. We have been happily married for 7 years.

For the first 3 years of the children's lives my husband worked 12 hour days away from the home 5 days a week. The year the kids turned 2 was the toughest- with our house being sold, we moved into a rented house and my son's tantrums erupted. He would not leave my side day or night and I found it difficult to cope with his increasing demands while caring for my daughter as well. My husband often came home to one or more of us in tears. We knew we needed to make a change.

In March 2010 my husband quit his job and we packed up sticks and moved across the country to a beautiful, quiet, safe and friendly village. The children started at the local pre-school, we found a lovely church and settled in to our new lives.

I cannot put into words how much better, calmer, easier our lives are now. Of course we have our tough times, but we take each day as it comes, and work hard to keep our relationship and family strong.

Fridays are reserved for my husband and I. We drop the kids off at pre-school and spend the day together. We might tackle a project that needs doing, go out to lunch, or cuddle up to watch a movie. It's our way of enjoying our brief time together, the way we used to do before our lives were turned upside down by children and Autism.



First time reading eSpecially Parents? Check out the series here.

Comments

  1. Bravo for taking the time with your husband! I am such a better mom after a date night with my hubby.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Autism can be very challenging to manage! Kudos to you for your honest and for your willingness to make changes to accommodate not the Autism into your life but designating couple time as well!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. If you wish to contact me directly, please let me know and I will email you.

Popular posts from this blog

Catching up with Ben

  I wish I had more time to write on eSpeciallyBen . Ben teaches us lessons on a regular basis: Smile often, give hugs, sit down and savor the moment, grab someone's hand to let them know you care and laugh with abandon–even if it annoys your brother. Ben will be 18 this summer. He attends high school in-person and enjoys seeing his classmates and teachers each day. In the photo above, it's 6 a.m. and he's can't wait to get on the bus. As for most people, the pandemic has been tough. Ben's in-person activities, camps and programs were canceled. He's happy to see grandma when we met on a Charlotte greenway or park. Ben seeks out social interactions and being quarantined away from friends and family was even more difficult because he didn't understand why. Ben's teacher sends me photos of him throughout the week. They just finished a rousing game of catch here.  Thank you for following eSpeciallyBen. If you want to see what I'm working on now, find me

A Lesson on Supplemental Security Income

In October, I received a letter from Social Security Administration saying that Ben no longer qualified for SSI AND we owed a very large over payment for two years of SSI that Ben did receive. The letter showed that we owned two of the same car. I knew this was wrong and immediately wrote a letter. I thought it was a computer glitch. Over the past five months, I have met with Social Security, spoke with several people over the phone and wrote countless letters providing documentation to show the cars we actually owned and filed appeals for the decision to revoke Ben's SSI during the two year period they think we owned these two cars. Tomorrow I have another meeting. I am hoping we can get this straightened out. This situation has caused a lot of stress for us and has taken a tremendous amount of our time trying to unravel the problem. I have not written a post in almost a month, partially because my brain power has been consumed with this issue and the bathroom saga (qualifies

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: Talking About the Future

Ben in the middle with Dad (left), Carla Payne with Aging Care Matters and Mom This is the first of several posts about parenting an adult child with a disability. Ben will be 19 this summer; I am learning along the way. As always, I hope to pass on resources and wisdom. Discuss the future.  If your adult child is able to participate in planning for their future, ask them how they envision it. Let them draw a picture. Ask them to tell you a story. Maybe they can sign a few words that mean a lot to them. Find a way to get them involved. How do they see themselves living? By themselves, in a group home, with another family or with a sibling? Where do they want to live? In another city, in an apartment, in a house? How far away do they want to live from family? What level of independence can they handle? Do they want someone to check in on them? Do they want to find a job? Do they need a job coach or supportive employment? Who will help them with their finances? Is there someone they tru