Let's talk about this thing called marriage. Well, I was married for 3 years and divorced before Ben turned 1 year old. It was tough but I got through it.
The toughest part was going through the legalities of it all. Surprisingly, Ben was the easy part during that time. He kept me busy and my mind was constantly on him. He was very sick his first two years before I knew what the culprit was.
Lesson learned about marriage and having a special needs child was that, not everyone is equipped for special needs. Because of that, I had to make some tough choices to keep my life and my son's life on the move in a positive way.
The one thing that I realized early on was that if I wasn't doing well, Ben knew it and I transferred that negative energy to him. For example, I may have been too drained to take him to the park, or to the pool. Or, I simply may not have felt like interacting with him by doing something like reading a book, and he loves books.
Looking at him, I could see sadness in his eyes and he didn't sleep well. I knew within a few days of this downward spiral that my situation wasn't right for us. So, I did what I felt was best at the time and kept it moving.
I'm always asked if I saw signs of my ex's reaction to a situation such as this and I have to say absolutely not. We all have our way of handling obstacles. Who really expects their child to be born with special needs? I'm happy to have made the decision I did. I handled (and continue to handle) my struggles, and such is life. I'll never let life get the best of me. I REFUSE.
Have an awesome summer.
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