Skip to main content

This too shall pass.


We had a great Thanksgiving. I ran an 8k in the morning, came back and we all jumped in the car to watch the last hour of the parade. We came home and ate pizza (really) and everyone except for Ben and me took long naps. Ben watched a movie, and I read a book. At 6pm, we went to our neighbors to pickup Thanksgiving leftovers, and then watched Miracle on 34th Street as a family. On the scale of holidays, this would have been close to a ten. But as they say, this too shall pass.

By Friday night, something had taken over Ben. He started with his high pitched yelling, which we had not heard in a very long time. When the yelling starts, it is non-stop, loud and pierces the inner depths of your being. In addition, Ben was climbing, grabbing, kicking and out-of-control. His appetite was unending, eating ridiculous amounts of food and drinks.

The items “Benzilla” left in his wake: a broken toilet tank cover, Balmex on the dresser and rug, near crash with my Christmas dishes and an almost burnt hand on the stove.

My psyche is wounded right now. My shoulders are tense, I feel psychotic, guilty and very tired.

I feel psychotic because the yelling/screaming goes through my bones and my brain feels like it has turned to mush.

I feel guilty because we ended up locking him down in his chair for the rest of the weekend. I am yelling a lot at the other kids and my husband because I cannot take the strain anymore.

I feel tired because Ben does not sleep a lot when he gets in this mood. I have been up for several nights.

I was not going to write about this especially when I just checked my email and had all these wonderful comments about Ben standing and taking steps. Right now, I feel like that was a different world, another time and place. Alas, it was only 3 days ago.

I decided to write about this because life is not rosy all the time. It has its ups and downs, moments to celebrate, moments to learn from and some, well, some are meant to be forgotten. But the bad moments do not negate the good ones.

After writing this, I know I can get through this difficult time and be better prepared for the next time. Ben will eventually calm down to his usual self. I will remember that he is a kid just trying to do the best that he can, and that he is not trying to be Benzilla, just a boy with energy, a body he is unsure of and a curiosity about his surroundings and his capabilities.


Above photo taken from: http://download.lavadomefive.com/members/BigClawz/GodzillaPictures-98artz.jpg

Comments

  1. I, as every parent, have experienced the feelings that you have just described. I am always amazed that the saying "unconditional love" really only pertains to the love you have for your kids. You can be so angry one minute and then not the next...I know that I wouldn't deal with this behavior from anyone, but my kids...that's why God made them so darn cute!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm not a parent (dogs and cat , yes - children, no). You and Ryan are such amazing parents - I'm always so touched by the loving honest approach you have to communicating on the challenges of the day! Hope you've had some calmer days since this post - hugs! Darryl and Brian

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for these comments, kind words and support. Ben has calmed down a bit and I think school provides more structure for him. I do thing his new found physical abilities are going to keep us on our toes!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for being so honest here. It's a little over a week later now and I hope life has settled down quite a bit.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. If you wish to contact me directly, please let me know and I will email you.

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

After my post, Brotherly Love , I received an email from a reader who reminded me of this song. I knew the song, but had never really thought about the words and the meaning behind them. I looked it up and thought others might see the lyrics in a new light.   He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother The road is long With many a winding turn That leads us to who knows where Who knows when But I'm strong Strong enough to carry him He ain't heavy, he's my brother. So on we go His welfare is of my concern No burden is he to bear We'll get there For I know He would not encumber me If I'm laden at all I'm laden with sadness That everyone's heart Isn't filled with the gladness Of love for one another. It's a long, long road From which there is no return While we're on the way to there Why not share And the load Doesn't weigh me down at all He ain't heavy, he's my brother. He's my brother He ain't h

ABC's of ABA

A few weeks ago I attended a workshop presented by a behavior therapist. As it turned out, I went to a conference on the same topic over a year ago. I will describe what I have taken away from these methods in my own words - but please take a look at the links I have provided below. After I learned about this, life with children made a lot more sense to me. Not that this is earth shattering material, but it helped me to better understand the hows, whats and whys of behavior in children, and occasionally husbands. I am in no way an expert in this - just a parent who wants to share a behavior strategy that has worked in our home. I hope to inspire others to explore it further.  Any errors in information comes from me and cannot be blamed on the presenters. Also, you may have seen ABA - Applied Behavior Analysis - connected most often with Autism - please do not let this deter you if your child is not autistic. I use these methods with all my children, none of which are labeled au