Jealousy reared its ugly head this morning. It is a natural emotion, but ugly all the same. As I have said before, Logan has a list of jobs in the morning before school. They range from making his bed and straightening his room to putting away the silverware each morning. Sean has a list too, but he is not yet three and less is expected of him. Ben does not have any jobs to do. When jobs are complete, they may play.
Logan is the middle child. In his 5 year old mind, he is stuck in that place in between two brothers who definitely have it better than him. His comment this morning was, "I wish I were Ben." Of course, I asked why because sometimes his answers are an insight into his psyche. Logan's answer, "Because Ben does not have a list" did indeed open up the doors to his way of thinking.
I am surprised that anger was not my first emotion. Instead, I wanted to cry. I responded with, "Logan, what you said makes me sad. Please think about what you just said." A lecture quickly formed in my head - you know the one where I talk about all the things Logan can do, how lucky he is to be able to talk and walk with ease, not have to struggle for everything...well you know that lecture. I am sure you have your own version in your head for some injustice in your life.
Luckily I did not utter a word of that lecture. After all, Logan is just a little boy, not on this earth very long. Understanding the life of his brother, Ben, will take a lifetime to contemplate. That Logan does not feel pity for his brother shows that he has already begun his journey as a loving brother.