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Writing Letters and Forming Connections Through Pen Pals

By Olivia Normandin

My 23-year-old nephew, Ben, has lived in a group home in Charlotte, North Carolina, for more than four years. He has many opportunities to visit parks, museums, restaurants and make friends at his day program and group home.

Through Ben, I became familiar with Steven, another resident who lives at the group home. A few years ago, my sister, Vanessa, told me that Steven loved creating drawings and giving them to the volunteers she enlisted to help at the group home.

At the time, I thought, “I should write to Steven.” But, as life often does, time got away from me, and I never did. This year, I found myself with extra time and began looking for volunteer opportunities in my community. During my research, the old idea of becoming a pen pal came back to me.

Ben Pals was born: The name is a play on my nephew’s name and the brainchild of my husband.

Ben Pals is a program created to build lasting relationships between individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities and volunteer pen pals.


Each month, a volunteer sends a letter through the United States Postal Service to their Ben Pal. Often, they include a puzzle, picture, stickers or a small token to make the correspondence even more personal. Many of our volunteers receive a return letter from their Ben Pal. Return letters from the participants are completely voluntary.

This simple idea, along with enthusiastic friends, family members and neighbors officially launched in April 2026. I pair volunteers with group home residents and day program members.


The experience has been more meaningful than I could have imagined. Ben Pals is uplifting for everyone involved. Our volunteers and participants have discovered that something as simple as receiving a letter in the mail can bring tremendous joy.

One volunteer shared on our GroupMe page:

“Ben Pal mail is the best mail.”


Our participants have expressed that same excitement:

“Thank you for sending me my first real letter. That feels great!”

Another wrote:

“Thank you for the crossword puzzle. You gave me the best surprise letter and made my day brighter.”

These words capture what Ben Pals is all about. It isn't about the size of the gesture. It's about knowing that someone is thinking about you, taking the time to write to you and looking forward to connecting with you. 


Ben Pals has developed into a program that has touched the lives of 60 people. I am incredibly grateful to connect people who might otherwise never have met and to see the friendships and joy grow.


 

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