Skip to main content

Love and Basketball



Yesterday, I took Ben to the YMCA, and we watched men play a lively game of basketball. Later, in the lobby, Ben's strap on his wheelchair broke. I had to take him out of the chair and enlist help to fix it. In the minute it took me to find someone, Ben crawled back into the gym to watch the game.

Ben was intense at this point, watching the game and yelling when they were about to score. He started sliding his little behind toward the court.  He was trying to get in the game. More than anything, he wanted the ball.

This was a serious pickup game, and Ben did not even get a nod. It was nothing against Ben, these men only had eyes for the basket.

At the same time, two or three boys about Ben's age started playing on the court when the men's game took them to the other end. Ben was doing his best to get someone's attention - if the large men wouldn't share the ball, perhaps one of these boys would.

I was ready to pay cash for someone to throw the ball to Ben, but then Ms. Brenda came through the gym. She has known Ben from birth through the child care area and pool. I told her what Ben wanted. Without my prompting, she called over one of the boys and asked him to throw the ball to Ben. He did, happily. Ben went crazy. I mean waving his hands, yelping like he just won the lottery crazy. He threw the ball to the boy immediately.

To Ben's delight, the ten year old Dion offered to do it several more times before he had to leave for home. Once Dion knew that Ben was enjoying himself, he offered to throw the ball to Ben multiple times. It was an emotional night for me - the pain of seeing Ben wanting to be a part of something and then the joy of someone making our night by including him.

Comments

  1. Thank you Ben for making my day and starting my week off on a positive note...love and hugs,Ms.Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vanessa, you are a very special and beautiful mother. Ben is a very blessed and inspiring boy. Reading your thoughts brings smiles to many people's faces.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. If you wish to contact me directly, please let me know and I will email you.

Popular posts from this blog

Catching up with Ben

  I wish I had more time to write on eSpeciallyBen . Ben teaches us lessons on a regular basis: Smile often, give hugs, sit down and savor the moment, grab someone's hand to let them know you care and laugh with abandon–even if it annoys your brother. Ben will be 18 this summer. He attends high school in-person and enjoys seeing his classmates and teachers each day. In the photo above, it's 6 a.m. and he's can't wait to get on the bus. As for most people, the pandemic has been tough. Ben's in-person activities, camps and programs were canceled. He's happy to see grandma when we met on a Charlotte greenway or park. Ben seeks out social interactions and being quarantined away from friends and family was even more difficult because he didn't understand why. Ben's teacher sends me photos of him throughout the week. They just finished a rousing game of catch here.  Thank you for following eSpeciallyBen. If you want to see what I'm working on now, find me

A Lesson on Supplemental Security Income

In October, I received a letter from Social Security Administration saying that Ben no longer qualified for SSI AND we owed a very large over payment for two years of SSI that Ben did receive. The letter showed that we owned two of the same car. I knew this was wrong and immediately wrote a letter. I thought it was a computer glitch. Over the past five months, I have met with Social Security, spoke with several people over the phone and wrote countless letters providing documentation to show the cars we actually owned and filed appeals for the decision to revoke Ben's SSI during the two year period they think we owned these two cars. Tomorrow I have another meeting. I am hoping we can get this straightened out. This situation has caused a lot of stress for us and has taken a tremendous amount of our time trying to unravel the problem. I have not written a post in almost a month, partially because my brain power has been consumed with this issue and the bathroom saga (qualifies

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: Talking About the Future

Ben in the middle with Dad (left), Carla Payne with Aging Care Matters and Mom This is the first of several posts about parenting an adult child with a disability. Ben will be 19 this summer; I am learning along the way. As always, I hope to pass on resources and wisdom. Discuss the future.  If your adult child is able to participate in planning for their future, ask them how they envision it. Let them draw a picture. Ask them to tell you a story. Maybe they can sign a few words that mean a lot to them. Find a way to get them involved. How do they see themselves living? By themselves, in a group home, with another family or with a sibling? Where do they want to live? In another city, in an apartment, in a house? How far away do they want to live from family? What level of independence can they handle? Do they want someone to check in on them? Do they want to find a job? Do they need a job coach or supportive employment? Who will help them with their finances? Is there someone they tru