Rose Colored Glasses

Within two days, we have received great news about three things related to Ben:

1. When Ben's old tricycle proved too small for him, we started the process to purchase him a larger one a few months ago. Ben's new case manager, who has been on top of the process, called yesterday to say that it had been approved. By the end of January, Ben will have a new blue bike to ride around on. Woohoo!

2. Yesterday afternoon, Ben brought home a letter about where he will attend middle school next year. I visited the two schools closest to our home and one stood out as the best fit. I wrote a letter requesting this specific school, stating the reasons and also called a few people to let them know our preference. I was prepared for a long appeal process if Ben did not get assigned to this specific school. Looks like I can put down my battle axe - Ben was assigned our school of choice. Hallelujah!

3. Since 2013, I have been working to get an accessible bathroom for Ben. It has been a long road with many many twists and turns. Just this morning, I received an email from someone who has been working hard to get Ben this bathroom. The email confirmed that the bathroom will be built. I am meeting with an experienced designer next week who is donating her talents. She will review our plans from over a year ago and make suggestions. Yipee!

In the midst of all this news, I got my first pair of eyeglasses, which happened to have red frames. As I was driving down the road, sporting my new glasses, everything seemed brighter and more vivid. I am not sure if it was my aided eye sight or the weight of worry lifted off of me, but I felt good. Positive thoughts, forced patience and a teensy weensy bit of letting go seems to have paid off.

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How I Make Being a Mom and Volunteer Work at this Group Home

In September, Ben celebrated three years living in a group home in Charlotte, North Carolina, with five other men. Ben lives 20 minutes from our house, and we see him several times a week for doctor's appointments, to drop off supplies, for group home events and sometimes because I just miss him. Ben occassionally sleeps over, and he often spends a weekend day hanging out on his favorite couch, watching videos at our house. This Easterseals PORT Health home is Ben's second placement. The first placement through another agency didn't work out, and he left after six months . We were wary of trying a new place, but it's worked out well. My husband, Ryan, and I have developed a partnership with ESPH. Over time, we've built mutual respect and trust with the residents and staff. Here's what's worked for us: 1. Get involved with the group home. Ben lives with five other men in a six-bedroom house in Charlotte. On move-in day, Steven, one of the residents, made ...

Gadgets & Gizmos - Part 6: Landeez Chair

We spent last week at the beach near Atlantic Beach in North Carolina. At Fort Macon Park , they have a special chair for people like Ben who may need extra help moving in the sand and water. The chair is made by Landeez . We were amazed by this chair. It did travel over the sand and in small amounts of water with ease. We bought an inexpensive strap to go around Ben's waist so he would not fall out. I thought that Ben could go farther in the water sitting in the chair, but it does eventually float...away if in too deep of water. Ben got tired of sitting in it and wiggled his way under the strap. For the most part, it is a great invention and it made it easier for us to keep Ben safe on the beach. If he had been interested in a long walk on the beach, this would have worked great for him.

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: From Group Home Placement to Discharge

Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom. A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client. Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months. We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....

eSpecially Ben

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