Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A Twister


Have you ever been on a roller coaster ride and you are so miserable that you are not sure you can hold out until it ends. Hoping against hope that you will not be the one to yell, "Stop!"

Beginning with last week, my ride has been of the boomerang, double dip, dog leg and cobra roll variety. Unfortunately, I am still on it and expecting a trim brake is my only consolation.

It started last week with stressful staffing issues for Ben and escalated from there.

As last week progressed, I noticed a pimple on Ben that needed watching. By Monday morning, I knew a doctor visit was inevitable. That Ben was in pain was obvious. Because of the location of the infection, he could not sit. He was yelling, moaning and whining, something Ben simply does not do. His pain tolerance is very high.

At this point, my anxiety and stress were affecting me physically and emotionally. I was keenly aware of my situation, but I did not see any way to a quick fix. If I had a doctor prescribed pill, this would have been the time to take it.

On the way to the doctor's office, I sat at a stoplight. I noticed Ben scratching his infected area. I turned around, leaned back and pulled his hand away.

Then something hit my car. I was dazed and confused. An older man came out of the car in front of me yelling, "What the hell is going on?"

In my effort to get Ben from scratching, my foot came off the brake, and I hit the car in front of me. I came out of the car shaking, crying and apologizing. I realized what I had done. Thankfully, the man calmed down when he saw me and realized there was no damage.

I was probably in no condition to drive, but there were no other choices at this point. I made it safely to the doctor's office and cried when the receptionist checked us in. The doctor added a nice bow tie to my morning and told me it was likely Ben had MRSA, but would not know until the test results came back in a few days.

To add to my stress, I am flying to visit a long-time friend today. Ben is not fully healed and I am uncertain to whether it is getting better or not. This trip has been planned for months and the guilt of leaving and the worry for Ben is weighing on me. He will be in good hands with the people who are taking care of him in my absence. I really need to go, and I know that.


When it comes to roller coasters, I am with the general public. I like my ride slow, steady and smooth. Staying in my seat with arms at my sides is my preferable position. Bumper boats are about as crazy as I would like to get. And even then, just about once a year is enough of a wild ride for me.




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