eSpecially Ben

This weekend we found out that Ben loves Shaun the Sheep . Like Bob the Builder, it is a British show for children. Luckily the other boys seem to enjoy Shaun the Sheep too. Sean calls it "my sheep." And Logan is just happy it's not Bob. And with Ben's love for British humor, we may try Kipper next...

 My birthday was last week and my dear friends helped me celebrate with a girls-only party at my house. I made it clear that the rule, "your gift is your presence" was in play. But loopholes can be found. A long time friend made me a certificate attached to a water bottle, congratulating me on turning 40 and running 12 races this year. It was a warm and fuzzy surprise, heartfelt and very original. Another friend, going back over 20 years, lives several states away, sent me 40 memories from over the years on strips of paper. I laughed reading the things I had forgotten and smiled at the good things she said about me. And at my party, a friend suggested everyone go around and say how they knew me. Some people shared their very first time meeting me or something I had done for them. It turned into more great memories. I wish I had videotaped it to watch on days that need brightening.

One of the first mornings I arrived at Ben's camp this summer, a man was out front of the recreation center on his cell phone. He was in a wheelchair, but managed to open the door for us. The next several mornings, he was outside when we arrived for drop-off. I later learned from him, that he waited each morning for us so he could help me. He also was there at pick-up time, but inside the building working with the teen camp located there. I learned that his name was Felix. It became routine for Felix to open the door for us and keep an eye on Logan and Sean. We became friends in the way you do when you see someone twice a day, everyday, for 7 weeks. We talked, shared pleasantries at first, and then got into more meaningful talks as the summer progressed. Felix is 31 years old and has Spina bifida. At the same time, the recreation director for the building was also around. At first appearance, she was gruff, unfriendly and had no interest in engaging in conversation with me. So

The Board of Education voted to close Ben's school for next academic year. The teachers and staff have been wonderful to our family, treating Ben with love, care and respect. It will be sad to say good-bye to all these people prematurely.

This was the question posed to me by Logan. To him, there was a correct answer and because he wanted me to get it right, he sounded out the words for me. They were: save the world Big answers for such a little boy. And because of all the things that have happened over the past few weeks, I think about Logan's question often. In his open and innocent 5 year old mind, things are black and white. As adults, we see gray, sometimes too much. Often we cannot save ourselves, let alone the world. Perhaps if more of us were saving the world, less would struggle with saving themselves.

Logan made these men from rocks he found when panning for gems at Tweetsie Railroad this summer. We cleaned a closet and found the box of gems. And just in case you were wondering about what the Rock Men were doing: The man on the left is on the phone and the two of them are friends. They are standing in grass. For more works of art, check out 5 Minutes for Special Needs

I turn forty today. I have been preparing for this momentous occasion for almost a year. Change is hard for me and the upward progression in my age is really difficult.  There was a time in my late 20's and early 30's when I did not tell anyone my age. My younger sister often joked that I had turned 29 so many times that she had become the older sister. My sister and mother have been supportive by surprising me for almost two weeks with a small gift every day. My sister has a way with words and has sent me very funny poems, as well as, heart felt warm notes.  Planning celebratory events to "ring" in the new decade was a way for me to transition my way into forty. The 12 Race Challenge, our weekend trip to Charleston and a party on my birthday with all my girlfriends were ways to make me feel positive. And it has worked - I feel comfortable saying, "I am forty."