eSpecially Ben

In October, Bendigo at Bendigo's Rage bestowed The One Lovely Blog Award upon me. It is a wonderful way for blogger's work to be appreciated and at the same time increase readership. At the very least, it makes someone feel very special to be chosen, I know I did. There are rules to this award: 1. Accept the award; 2. Post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link; 3. Pass the award on to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered; and 4. Contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award. Instead of posting all 15 blogs at once, I am listing a few at a time. I said in an earlier posting that I do take this seriously so I have been reading to find what blogs I want to list. I have found a few more. These blogs were chosen because I found them interesting in content, the writer's background is different (than me) and after going through blog after blog, they made me st

Fall Leaves by Ben, age 6 Magic Marker Monday is a creation through  5 Minutes for Special Needs , a website full of information, blogs and discussion groups. One way to celebrate life is to see it through art, and this site helps us share our children's creative masterpieces. Please check out the site. Ben used Crayola Twistables Slick Stix - super smooth to create this art work. It is hard for Ben to put pressure on paper, but these crayons are magical. All Ben has to do is touch the paper with the crayon and a large mark is made. I bought them at Target for a reasonable price! I cannot take credit for finding them, Ben's teacher discovered them and I got some for use at home. And as long as I am confessing, he did this artwork at school too. Enjoy!

I am not talking about sugar-free candy, no calorie cakes or eating your way through the holidays with celery and carrot sticks. I am talking about getting rid of the pressures we all put on ourselves to have wonderful, perfect holidays for our families and children. There are ways to make life simpler during this hectic time. Most of us avoid them because it may mean taking a risk and changing the way things have always been done (and our mother might yell.) Here are some ideas that have worked for us: Gifts – I know for our son, Ben, who has little interest in toys, finding presents for him to open during the holidays is a challenge. The little voice in my head keeps saying, “What will Ben open? What will Ben get excited about?” Changing our expectations of Ben being excited about gifts helped quite a bit. We ask grandparents to pay for tickets to the circus, which unexpectedly has become a tradition. Some of the best gifts for Ben are movie passes and gift cards for ice cream

In 2006, three families started a neighborhood club. At that time, our main reason for forming was to setup a babysitting cooperative. I would watch their child one afternoon and then they would repay me the next day or week. The group has since grown to 25 families, a website, guidelines and all types of activities and annual traditions. Today, school was out so I put out an invitation for parents to come over with their kids to make turkeys using felt, feathers and glue. In the end, the house was full of seven boys and one girl – running around, creating turkeys and watching movies. Ben was in the mix of all this, although he absolutely refused to make a turkey or watch Peter Pan. He followed the crowd or spent time in his room watching “Bob”, depending on his mood. On three separate occasions, Ben pulled the little girl’s hair. In his defense, she has lovely hair and the first two times, it was within inches of his hands. The last time, she had learned her lesson and sat a dist

Let me start this off by saying that I am the kind of person who will make a “to do” list that will include “Plan something spontaneous.” And I see nothing wrong with that. I received a call two weeks ago from my son’s case manager. Her supervisor, as part of her graduate school work, started a non-profit organization, called HOPE (Helping Outcomes for Parents with Exceptional children.)   The mission of HOPE is to promote healthy relationships for parents of children with disabilities by providing opportunities to engage in activities within their community. Providing parents with the opportunity to embrace and renew their partnerships to be strong for their children and maintaining the family unit. (Taken from their brochure.)   So the call I was getting was to ask if my husband and I would be willing to go on short notice the next week - Thursday and Friday to Myrtle Beach. I didn’t say, “Hell, YES!” – I am way too polite for that, but you bet your ______, I was thinking it.

A few things happened yesterday that amazed me. At our neighborhood Halloween Festival, Ben was taking his usual rest from his walker by plopping down on the ground. His 1½ year old brother came up to him and offered his hands to help Ben get up. Then Raggs  arrived. He is a 7 foot tall dog who has his own show on PBS. Ben watches this show often. When it came to Ben’s turn to give Raggs a hug, he would not let go. I mean he really would not let go. Ben was giving Raggs probably the best hug he has ever received. After peeling Ben away, Raggs kept coming back to Ben for more hugs. Their final farewell was sad to watch, Ben did not want to leave. I was amazed by the kindness that both Sean and Raggs showed Ben. It started me thinking about how many people helped us get through Ben’s surgery and week of recovery. We had friends who picked up Logan from school, brought us dinner and told us to call if we needed anything. Grandparents offered to help. My sister sent a gift card to Ben’

One of my very best friends from a long time ago called me last week to talk about her baby who is undergoing testing for medical and developmental issues. Understandably, she is upset, sad, tired, discouraged…all the normal feelings you have when you find out your child has special needs. In the middle of her sharing about her difficult time, she apologized for not being there for me when I was going through the same thing several years ago. She told me she never understood what I was going through until now. She wished she had been a better friend to me back then. I was dumbstruck when she said it. I kind of blew it off and told her not to even give it a second thought. And I meant for her to not give it a second thought. I, on the other hand, have given it many thoughts. I even cried when we got off the phone (and remember I am not a crier.) For someone to say what she said to me meant a lot. I have no anger or bad feelings to anyone who does not understand what we went throug