eSpecially Ben

When Mark and I first starting thinking about having another child, we were hoping to have a diagnoses for Sophia so we would know what to test for during the next pregnancy. Despite seeing many specialists and having her DNA tested in the Netherlands, we had no answers. At that point we realized we may never get any answers. Mark and I believe that it was a spontaneous genetic change that occurred at the very beginning stages of development. There is a one percent chance that it can happen to anyone. We decided not to wait for any answers. The decision to have another child was very easy for us. We were scared but we knew we wanted more children. We had several high level ultrasounds and at 16 weeks pregnant we found out that Alex was a healthy baby boy. The picture was clear as day. The moment the 3D image of his face popped up on the screen a ton of fear was lifted. As time would go by, I would start to get scared again. My doctor let me get an ultrasound anytime I felt nervous or

Tye is an only child. Some of it is by choice, most of it because of nature. I never thought I would only have one child. I always dreamed of having more kids. I LOVE kids. I would rather be with a child than be with an adult sometimes. Unfortunately, we were not able to have children easily. Tye was an invitro baby. Talk about a child that you wanted more than anything in the world...that was Tye. We had tried for 5 years to conceive doing all sorts of things to get pregnant. Sex was not a fun past time because it became more of "Let's go have sex. I'm ovulating today" and then positioning myself hoping that gravity would help make a baby. After too many failed attempts to count, we saw an infertility specialist and had to let science and medical interventions do that job for us. We spent about $10,000 to do invitro fertilization. Luckily it took on the first try. They implanted 4 embryos, 2 took. We were over the moon ecstatic, we were going to have twins. A boy

 You will have one of two reactions to what I am about to say - you may be horrified or you may laugh. Ryan, my husband, loving father to our three boys, may sometimes refer to Logan and Sean as "the typs." As in, "I am going to the pool and taking the typs with me."  I did not get it at first.  2011 Ryan was referring to Logan and Sean, our typical children. Okay, breathe, either from laughing or nostrils flaring. Now you can smile, humor is big in our house. And a play on words is just the tip of the iceberg. No pun intended. When a couple's first child has special needs, the decision to have another child becomes more complicated. Often doctors warn that the next child has a high percentage of having the same issues. I believe Ryan and I were told the same thing, but that time is foggy to me. When Ben was one year old, I knew that I was pregnant. I do not remember worrying about how this next one would be. We asked the OB, and th

Pictures ARE worth a thousand words. I tell people about the things Ben can do and I get a blank stare or a polite smile. I know what they are thinking, "Yeah right." Now I have the proof! The photos are current, but these are the same activities Ben was doing pre-seizure, two years ago. Now that he is on the right medication, Ben is back to progressing with his physical abilities. While having seizures and trying to find the right medication, Ben was not attempting any of this climbing. I am also noticing him understanding more of what goes on around him - seeing someone walk in the room with pizza boxes and understanding what is inside. Grandpa asking him to come to him because he will help him out. Ben is responding more quickly to his environment. He pulled his cousin's hair (again) and he understood that he had hurt her. His face showed a reaction that was approriate for seeing someone cry. This is a change from past situations. And even though I do not have

At the beginning of June, we visited Landsford Canal State Park  in South Carolina, a park Ryan found a few years ago while trying to find a new place for a day trip. The park has become one of our favorites because it has an easy path for Ben's wheelchair, playground, picnic tables and is 'home to the largest population of the Rocky Shoals spider lilies in the world.'  We also happened to see a red-bellied water snake, box turtle, blue heron and Bald Eagle's nest. In May and early June, you can see these beautiful flowers blooming. My photos do not do anything justice - if you leave nearby, plan for a visit next year. There are special tours if you sign up in time. I think Ryan has setup an email reminder for us so we get to the park earlier this year.

Your Fathering that Makes Me Smile As mother of a “different” child, my key role is to shine a guiding light on the path God paved  for him. All along that path are my son’s gifts that illuminate the darker days - days I cannot even grasp a glimpse of light. I am grateful that God’s plan for me is that I do not walk the parenting path alone. In our days and nights of chaos and commotion, I can draw just enough of my sweet husband’s determination to keep focus on the higher things. My fortune is to have a hand to hold as I walk a challenging path. So many things you do remind me daily of the gift of laughter – little things like: I love that you are “thankful” when you get home at night to see that we cleaned all the windows in the house with baby wipes. I love the way you cut chicken from the bone into perfect Samson-sized bites with the precision of a surgeon. I love how you combine the colors, plaids, and stripes of Samson’s clothes on Saturday mornings when you both go to t

When Luke was a baby I was proud to say he was a mama’s boy. He would reach for me while someone else was holding him and cry for me to pick him up when he would wake or need comfort. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy this attention and I am glad I did while it lasted. Luke has since made a new best friend. His name is Daddy. I love watching the two of them play together. Luke is all boy and loves to roughhouse with his dad. I often hear his signature laugh from across the house when he sees his dad and practices walking back and forth to his waiting arms. He also loves to hear his dad cheer him on while he plays with his basketball hoop. One of my favorite games that they play is ring a round of the rosy because I know Luke will include me in on this one. Matt and I have been married for 12 years. Having a special needs child definitely changed our relationship. We have a lot of worry. Will he need more surgeries? Will he ever talk or communicate more effectively? What if he gets hurt? D