eSpecially Ben

When Ben turned three years old, his services were turned over to the school system. This transition meant a new school placement for Ben. We have been incredibly lucky to have had caring case managers, teachers and therapists to work with Ben since he was a baby. I trusted their ideas and suggestions. At the big transition meeting to determine a new school for Ben, this group told me that there was one school Ben just had to attend. From what they had heard, it had the best teachers, therapists and reputation. I visited this school. I left knowing that something was not right. I could not put a name to it, I could not tell someone why, when asked. I questioned this doubt, pushed it aside because everyone else knew better than me. They'd been doing this longer. At first, we sent Ben there five days a week, and slowly, moved to two days a week for a couple of hours, then yanked him out quite abruptly. Three years later, I have perspective on this experience. At the time, it co

It's been a long day with little sleep - can't blame the kids or the husband (he yelled at 1am for me to come to bed). I'm not good at comebacks but later I did think, I should have said, "Did Mrs. Einstein yell, 'Hey Al, come to bed, it's getting late and that stuff you're working on can wait.'" I was up until 3am working on this blogsite. It has been in the works in my head for a long time. And for whatever reason, I had the courage to do it. Perhaps it was last night's book club discussion about "Loving Frank." Perhaps I was just ready. So thank you to anyone out there who has read some of my postings. It is encouraging to hear your comments, ideas and thoughts. This is all new and I will use the words of my good friend Tracy, "Trust the process."

When my son was three, he saw a psychologist for a consultation. She told me about a family who had a 27 year old daughter with Down Syndrome, living at home. After a discussion with the family and some observation, she determined that the daughter could be doing about 30% more on her own. At the time, I took the story at face value – a therapist sharing a story about another family to try to break the ice, make me feel comfortable. After the session, the psychologist’s words kept coming back to me. Was the story a gentle way of saying that my son too, could be 30% more independent? My mom shared a story with me several years ago about how my aunt asked about her parenting philosophy. My mother had responded that from the moment a child is born, it is a parent’s responsibility to help that child to succeed on their own. This comment has stuck with me. More than a year ago, one of my son’s teachers asked me what I saw Ben doing in the future. I was dumbfounded - he was 4 ½ at the