eSpecially Ben

The last 6 months have been tough for me physically. I mentioned cysts and stress fractures last fall and now I have a new ailment that may be chronic and is extremely painful...and ummm personal. So I will not get into gory details, just that my comfort level can prevent me from being 100% at times. After putting off the inevitable, I have to see the specialist. My 2012 goals: Get back to exercising, cut back when I need the rest and get through this new ailment with grace. * Love my "R" words? Got them from Unusual R Words

Anger, hurt feelings, confusion and ignorance surround the word "retarded". Many good posts have been written about experiences with the word. There's even a day to raise awareness and educate people about why it is not an acceptable way to describe things that are dumb or stupid. People who use  retarded to describe a situation, saying or person, that in their opinion is stupid, do not realize that they are unwittingly applying a negative definition to retarded. Ben is mentally retarded. It is okay to use those words in that context. There is a move to use different words like cognitively delayed and intellectually disabled because of the negative connotation mentally retarded has been given over the past several decades. I think most people who use the word retarded or retard do so because it is something they have always said. Sometimes a bit of education and an effort to break a bad habit is all it takes. So spread the word, s...

Lately when pushing Ben in his wheelchair, people I know, say hello to me and not to Ben. And if you are thinking, they might be saying hello to both of us, think again. They are using the words, "Hi Vanessa." And yes, they know Ben's name. It is easy to depersonalize a situation when someone is in a device that is passive, like a stroller or wheelchair. I do believe that if Ben was in his walker, he'd be acknowledged. I have not figured out a diplomatic way to handle this yet, but I will. If you have a suggestion, feel free to send it my way.