Skip to main content

A Little Too Cozy with My Genes


My business partner has a saying that he uses often in our team building and leadership activities with groups, "Trust the Process." Tracy usually shares this tidbit when the group is struggling through an activity or wondering how solving a puzzle will help the group form a more cohesive bond.

I am trying to keep this philosophy as we go through more tests to figure out what Ben's actual diagnosis may be. In my post, The Allusive Diagnosis, I mentioned that Ben's tests revealed a strange discovery - they located an abnormality on the X chromosome, one usually connected with Retts Syndrome. Last month at the geneticist's office, we learned that Ben's gene abnormality has never been seen before. I don't thing they mean, just in their office. I think they mean ever, anywhere.

This week, I was tested to see if I have the same abnormality. If I do, then "the waters are muddied," according to the doctor. It could mean that it is just an abnormality that has no significance. Or it could mean it affects him only. Hence the "muddied waters" analogy.

If I do not have this abnormality, then this finding could be significant. It could also lead to more tests.

There is an eight month wait for appointments with the pediatric geneticists in Charlotte. They saw us in one month and now we have another appointment in May. They also paid for my genetic testing because insurance denied the service. I think Ben may be an interesting case for the doctors.

I am trying to "Trust the Process", go slow and talk with Ryan through each discovery. It may lead nowhere or it could lead to something. We can stop the process at any point also. Just because a doctor suggests a test does not mean we have to follow-through with it. Weighing the benefits for Ben and our family and considering motives behind testing will come into play as we move ahead.

In any of these cases, we keep on doing what we are doing with Ben...make him work hard and love him lots.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: From Group Home Placement to Discharge

  Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom.  A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client.  Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months.  We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....
  Ben is thriving in his group home in Charlotte. I wrote about what he's been up to in this story in Southpark Magazine:  Givers: All together Happy Holidays! Photo Credit Grant Baldwin Photography