eSpecially Ben

Change in family and friends is a topic near and dear to my heart. I've always had a supportive immediate family.  I have an older sister and brother, and my parents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.  After having Ben we seem to be more of a pack now (more protective of one another).  If something is going on with my nieces, it's common for all of us to show up where they are, unannounced.  It's refreshing because if one of us doesn't have the energy to deal with the situation, the others will.  That's the ultimate support to me.  It simply means that we are always aware of the issues because of continuous communication. Some of my family members have surprised me because I never thought they would want to have anything to do with Ben, but have ended up being the "motivated helpers" as I call them.  When I pull up, they are at the car to help.  Concerning friends, they are few and far between.  If I can't talk to them on...

Loving an Only Child Choosing to love an only child is the most difficult choice I have ever made. Years ago, I imagined myself as the mother of four boys. I have always thought of myself as a “boy mom,” the only girl in a wild house filled with male voices. We were on our way to building that “house” when Samson came. Then, his unique challenges began to fill our thoughts and alter our direction. One day we were 40 and I had let go of my original plan. Genetics forced us to consider the certainty of other biological children having the same neurological challenges as Samson. The foster system was my original idea – open our hearts to other children and wait until God chose the one we could keep. The possibilities of it all seemed dreamy to me at first. Reality arrived soon, however, when we learned that single children were often adopted by family, and that most opportunities to foster would likely be to siblings. Combined with Samson’s needs, adopting siblings seemed much more th...

Here are some photos from Ben's summer camp. This camp is coordinated through the Therapeutic Recreation Division of the County Parks and Recreation Department. They offer scholarships to attend this camp. Ryan and I participated in the Amazing Race , one of their fundraising events for the scholarship fund for which many of you contributed. You can see through these photos that the camp does an excellent job of getting the children involved in all types of activities from pet therapy to swimming, and everything in between. . And when they were not busy with the weekly visits from the music therapist, horticulturalist and My Gym, they went off-site to the bowling alley, theme parks, local colleges to take in a play. Ben was busy exploring this summer and making friends.

I received this letter a few weeks after Ben attended Rainbow Express at Matthews United Methodist Church: First off, thank you so much for sharing your wonderful son with me this week. Ben really fascinated me as I learned more about him each day. I loved seeing his smile and laugh when he got excited, and although it was a wee bit painful, I laughed so hard every time I turned around and saw him innocently gnawing on my hair! Everywhere we walked in the hallways, someone stopped us wanting to meet Ben. It might have been because of his awesome trike or adorable red hair, but once people looked him in the eyes they fell in love with him and couldn't help but tell me how cute he is. I was surprised how well Ben was able to communicate his desires with me. I feel as though I've learned so much, not only about Ben, but about myself. Having Ben as my camper was a massive blessing. Give Ben a hug for me! Jaclyn Reading this letter made my day!

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. --Maya Angelou Who says it better than Maya Angelou?  I mean reallly, geesh, she is awesome. This post is about change.  It's funny, because I have always been a huge fan of change.  You know, mixing things up, trying something new, meeting new people, travelling to new places, etc.  All these things, every single one of them is like a living nightmare for my Autistic son.  So nowadays change is something we plan, not something that happens to us.  Changes in relationships are unpredictable and therefore a dangerous area for our family.  Since we live so far from my family, their support is by necessity, verbal (phone calls), so from a practical point of view it has made little difference.  As for friends, we have recently moved to a new area of the country and are in the initial stages of friendship with lots of lovely people who know all about our challenges, w...

One of the eSpecially Parents suggested this topic for the month of August: How have your relationships changed with family and friends after your child was diagnosed with a special need? I have known about this question for awhile and had lots of time to mull it over. I have met my wonderful, caring and true friends through Ben. He seems to attract genuine people. And luckily they seem to like the rest of his family too. Early on when Ben was little, we were one of the first families to have children in the neighborhood. After Logan was born, there were a few more people having children and we decided to form a group called Club Family . We swapped babysitting time and planned group activities for the kids and parents. This group became my social outlet - and Ben was always a part of it all. I can only think of one time when a parent made a misinformed choice of words to explain Ben's condition, but other than that, everyone has been warm and loving toward our family...

I will be posting again soon...summer is almost over and it is our craziest time. Thanks for being a loyal reader!